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H'biki Schwarzer

Midgardsormr [Aether]

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Travel pictures

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It's been a while since I last wrote, but things are still quiet. It's gotten to the point I might take up fishing, just to satisfy the expectant glances I get every time I pass by the Crystalline Mean.

In the meantime, I'm still in the habit of reaching for Cid's camera when something catches my eye. It's not a bad thing, but since the original intent was to show "I'm still okay", it's a bit odd when I stop by the Rising Stones fairly regularly these days.



I'm sure I'll need it when we set out again, though, so there's no point in trying to stop now. Besides, it's apparently a favorite distraction for the recruited Scions and some of Revenant's Toll's adventurers. They won't do it if I'm around, but according to Alisaie, Tataru's collection is practically swarmed the moment I set off.

You'd think Aldenard wouldn't be particularly interesting as everyone lives here, but my habit of flitting to every corner of the continent yields enough variety to make it worth it....or something to that effect, though Doma and Norvrandt are still more popular.



I just know that our dear Exarch has stolen most of the pictures again. Alphinaud is pretending not to mind, Alisaie isn't pretending, and Tataru is reclaiming portions of the pile every time he so much as blinks.

Speaking of Tataru--I asked if the pictures I sent back from Norvrandt had served their purpose. The short answer is "mostly"--the long answer is that I smile so infrequently in them, it starts making everyone worry about me in a different way. It seems I'm not the only one to think the Scions are clumsy with mental issues.

Still, I defended it as "just my disposition", but even with Alphinaud's best efforts, all arguments were subsequently torn apart. I was even told to "go get Momodi to confirm it" if I was that certain. It's how I am now, sure, but I know it's not how I used to be--Alphinaud does, too, but he was kind enough to try.

It's not like my heart's completely frozen--I still laugh easily enough, I think, and get angry when someone crosses a line. I can still smile to reassure the downtrodden and the desperate, but

But since when? How long have I

No, it's not hard to guess. The Waking Sands shocked me, and the banquet had me on edge for a while, but I was lured back both times. New sights to see, new people to meet, things to keep me busy--I forgot my problems in the shuffle and by the time I realized it, I'd already moved forward.

I'm not quite stalled out, but I'm not progressing, either. Running in the same circle over and over and over and over again. A pattern that carves scars over scars in the soul....and one I've witnessed the effects of from the outside. The same spiral that Thancred traced in Norvrandt is more or less what awaits me, and like his treatment of Ryne before she was Ryne, it rubs me the wrong way.

It was a detestable existence, but he smiles now, in a way I'd never known him to--not even when we first met. It's shy, but it's warm.

And so I have no choice but to walk a similar kind of path--to weather my own brambles and face my own hideous truths. I'd rather not drag the others down it with me, but....it's a risk I have to accept. Alisaie's and Raha's silence earlier said as much.

Even if I can go without it, even if it hurts, even if it takes a long time....I have to try.

If nothing else....because he said it's what suits me best.
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