Ahoy-hoy! After 8 long years curled up into a fuzzy lil' furball, crying crocodile tears and hiding from big meanies... it's awake and sooo hungryyyy...
The sultry, sassy, snarfilicious feline from hell is back, and she's a-scratchin' and a-clawin' her way through Eorzea once again! Don't let those bedroom eyes and demure personality lull you into a false sense of complacency... this gal is a beast... A BEAST I tell you!
Her turn-ons: Catnip, catnaps, catfights, devourin... err, finding a strong, wealthy hunka-hunka-mancandy to play with, and chugging her favorite beer until she passes out face down on the ground in a warm pool of... well, you know what I mean.. and nice manimals that are kind to kitty.
Her turn-offs: Water, hairballs(not to be confused with hairy balls), flat beer, and pr**ks that are mean to kitty... *HISSSSS!!!* *RAWRLLLLL*
Her favorite pickup line: "How's your stomach, luv?"
Battered, homeless, and broke, she wipes the tears from her eyes, steels herself, and makes a firm resolution: "I have nothing left, I have no pride, no dignity, no money, I don't even know how I'll make a living... but I promise I'll give Eorzea one more chance." (aaand cue any Zimmer soundtrack)
All kidding aside, I didn't think I would ever come back due to absolutely horrendous PUG party/raid experiences, but I was convinced by a good friend and his guild whose kindness and generosity convinced me to give it another shot. A group of players who are a true gem and rarity. All aces. An opportunity that could not be passed up.
And so, once more unto the breach, I am looking forward to forging new friendships(or even rekindling old ones if, by some miracle of fate, we cross paths again) while exploring the very much changed world of Eorzea! Oh, and hypocritical PUG elitist jacka**es can go pound sand... "this little kitty is gonna claw out your eyes this time around!"
It's just a game, so just have fun and play nice with others! See ya around! ^.^
P.S. If you know what her last quote pays homage to, then you, my friend, are a daisy!
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